How it all began

After nearly 16 years of marriage not all of them bad and 19 years together as a couple, the mid-life crisis hit hard. Things had been somewhat ropey for a couple of years I suppose, but one kind of tries and explain away stuff and close one's eyes to what is happening because the alternative is not pleasant for anyone.
TPBW had been behaving more and more like a singleton over the years. His work had meant that he was often away on business all over the world and I held the fort in the meanwhile. On occasion, he would take me on some of the more local events so I got to mingle with the 'beautiful people' that inhabited his world. Pop stars, footballers, actors and other such people. Often partners were not invited. I have to say that I never really minded that. Smart charity dinners are fun occasionally, but polite conversation with people who really are sometimes shallow and often uninteresting because of their lack of interest in what you have to say can be tiresome.
I can manage however... I can talk Bull with the best of them when required and to be fair some people were surprisingly down to earth despite their fame and fortune.
I suppose that when you travel first class for business that a family holiday economy class is a bit of a come down... and here is where I suppose I was first fully aware of the problem.
Two summers ago I spent 3 weeks in the south of Spain with my kids with my parents there for a week and one of my daughters friend for another week. We had a few days of pure chilling and then the TPBW joined us for the last 4 days of the holiday. He had been touring China and the Far East with a premier Football team, one of the perks of his job and a great opportunity which I agreed he should take.
We collected him from the airport and you would think that having had a couple of weeks away on what was basically a jolly he would have been looking forward to spending time with the kids. The first night was ok, we all went out for dinner Thai I remember and had a relatively early night. He spent most of the next day glued to his mobile phone (business calls) or reading on the terrace in the sun whilst I went swimming etc with the kids.
That second evening the kids 13 and 14 at the time, were bickering as only teenage sisters can do whilst I showered before dinner. TPBW totally lost the plot at this and STORMED out of the apartment throwing a handful of change at the wall. I got out of the shower and from the balcony I could see him pacing off into the distance through the gardens of the villa complex. We were due out for dinner with some friends. He did return shortly afterwards and announced that he couldn't deal with being part of such a dysfunctional family, didn't want to be married, didn't want to be there and was packing to leave on the next flight to the UK. Some more and rather hurtful things were said at the time which left me reeling as if cut by a knife. Some of these things were directed at our youngest daughter. I persuaded him to stay.
We did end up going out for dinner with our friends where he was playing hail fellow well met all jolly and chatty, but My youngest and I were somewhat weepy and the eldest daughter was very quiet.
Without going into further detail this little outburst and the following rather icy behaviour was the start of the serious problems to follow. Holiday was pretty much ruined as the hurt anger and disappointment ruled out the good time we had had before his arrival. I was devastated truly by what happened.